A year less ordinary

A little over a year ago, I set an intention for 2020. This year would be Lifetime’s Year of the Ordinary.  “Every month,” I wrote, “I plan to interview an ordinary person about ordinary things.” 

I was aware that this was a risky strategy. Forewarning you and readers of Cornwall Today that I planned to be mundane for a whole year wasn’t likely to get you jumping out of bed and rushing to the newsagent yelling “yippee” like Grandpa Joe on Wonka-factory-visiting day. 

But really, that was the point. All around me I saw people bruised by the relentless pounding of nudges - gentle and not-so-gentle -  ‘encouraging’ us to do extraordinary things and be extraordinary people. Online and IRL (existing online is now so ordinary that experiences ‘in real life’ need an acronym), marketers vie for our attention, find out our weak spots and nudge, nudge, nudge. New mums are nudged into exhaustion, trying to lose baby weight to a retailer’s schedule; children are nudged into self-harm, scoring their worth in the likes and follows of strangers; and men and women doing under-recognised work are nudged into shame by advertisers selling them addictions. 

My hunch was that ordinary was actually pretty extraordinary and that by noticing and appreciating small, real things, we could grow more resilient to nudges from the extraordinarily unreal.

The year began well. Richard from First Aid Cornwall shared some of his favourite ‘ordinaries’ with us in January, finding that the things he was most grateful for were also very humble: some trusty walking boots, the view from a nearby field, a childhood memory of a bus ride.

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as best we can

Then ordinary flew out of the window. On January 31st, two cases of Covid 19 were confirmed in the UK, and by the last week of February, nearly half a million people in the UK were calling NHS helplines for advice on their worrying symptoms. The numbers suggested we had two epidemics on our hands: coronavirus and anxiety.  

I know something of anxiety’s ways and means and have tried to support people feeling distressed by its grip in interviews on BBC Radio Cornwall. We talked about ways to protect your mental health in challenging times, about the therapeutic power of kindness and about useful conversations to have with anxiety. 

But incredibly, naturally, we knew what to do. All over the world people instinctively connected to the things that nurtured them in deeply nourishing ways. We found comfort in retreating into our kitchens to bake bread or preserve fruits. We paused to notice birds and plants that had been quietly present all along. And we picked up some new tech skills in order to meet friends and family - perhaps even catching up more regularly than before.

In many ways, this year has been very, very ordinary. No extravagant holidays or once-in-a-lifetime events, just living our lives as best we can, staying in touch, as best we can and contenting ourselves with living in perfectly imperfect ways. And perhaps, by allowing ourselves to aim lower this year, we’ve made room to reach some humble, IRL highs.

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Contact a Lifetime counsellor

We’re able to work with you face-to-face in at Lifetime Therapy Truro in a covid-safe way, thanks to our spacious rooms. We’re also working hard to support people through what is a really difficult time online and over the phone. To make an appointment, or to find out more, get in touch.