Establishing a simple & comforting gratitude practice

Article first published in Cornwall Today.

We’re often told that giving is better than receiving, but I’m beginning to understand that gratitude itself is the true gift. As I reflect on 2019 I’d like to extend my thankfulness to you. 

This is my twelfth month of journaling. Seasonally, we’ve come full circle. But before officious January arrives and insists we look ahead, I’d like to invite you not to look back but to be still for a moment and notice all that you have and are.

It’s so easy to identify what’s wrong and so tempting to allow the negative to dictate our thoughts and conversations for the day. Today, I’m tired. I’ve got a cold and a to-do list as long as my leg. I’ve run out of coffee. These are today’s discomforts and they will pass. Tomorrow there will be new discomforts and they will pass too. This thought gives me comfort. 

Most of the time we are too busy clearing away discomfort to notice that comfort is all around. Yes, I’m tired, but I have the liberty to go to bed early tonight and when I get there I will find clean sheets, a firm mattress,  a good book and, if it suits him, a dog to keep me company. As for the cold, I know I’ll take some pleasure in indulging my besieged self with fresh fruit, turmeric lattes and a favourite woollen sweater. 

Quietening the chatter of projects-on-the-go leaves space for birds,  raindrops and gratitude. I’m grateful to live in a place where nature is my soundtrack,  that I am cosy despite the cold. Reflecting on this, I realise that most of the things on my to-do list are privileges, not chores: responsibilities accepted from people who trust me; opportunities to develop my practice and its impact. A feeling of gratefulness floods me - a strange and unfamiliar emotion, gratitude has just this year become a close friend. 

Gratitude is chronically underrated in our society. We teach our children to say thank you, but do we teach them to be grateful? Perhaps we imagine it’s unnecessary, that gratitude is an emotion as natural as excitement or delight. From my experience, that isn’t the case.  I believe gratitude is a more subtle emotion and needs a little coaxing, perhaps because there is often such a discord because the situations in which we are expected to demonstrate thanks, and the occasions on which we actually feel deeply thankful. 

As those of you who have read this journal before will know, I am part of a growing number of people who practice Gratitude every day. I do this by posting three things I am grateful for on Lifetime’s Gratitude Practice on Facebook. There are no rules. A newt is as valid as Newton’s laws if it makes the world a more positive place. 

This Christmas, if I could give you any gift it would be the gift of gratitude - there truly is nothing more fulfilling and comforting than realising that you have what you really need. 

Thank you for giving my words a little of your precious time in 2019. I would be truly grateful to hear your thoughts on the topics we’ve covered and suggestions for my articles in 2020. As always, you can reach me at info@lifetimetherapy.co.uk

Wishing you a happy, grateful Christmas! Malachy