Emergence: how to reduce anxiety as we come out of lockdown
Emergence! To understand why leaving our homes and mingling with others feels so uncomfortable after two months in lockdown, all you have to do is add an exclamation mark.
Emerging, like coming out and showing your face takes courage. While we’ve been hiding away, buds have been opening, seedlings sprouting and fledgelings taking their first tentative flights. Most will have blossomed, fruited and soared, but others will not have been so lucky. Coming out into the light is always a risky business.
Anxiety’s job is to keep you safe
Humans have survived so well because we know the potential dangers and have a sophisticated vigilance mechanism built-in. It’s called anxiety and it’s extremely good at keeping you safe. So good in fact, that it puts you in danger of never going anywhere, doing anything or seeing anyone.
Of course, there are real risks attached to returning to our workplaces and public spaces and I don’t mean to diminish these. We must all take precautions to keep ourselves and others physically safe. But in my experience, difficult emotions can be just as damaging to our health. Anxiety, guilt and loneliness all threaten our growth and our ability to feel at peace with ourselves and take an active part in the world. All three are very present dangers as we make the difficult decisions of emergence.
In Latin, emergere means ‘bring to light’
As I reflect on this common origin of emergence and emergency, I wonder if this idea of enlightenment can help us. It feels as if a lot of learning has taken place since we went into a forced and unseasonal hibernation. We’ve seen blue skies above Shanghai, clear fish-filled water in the canals of Venice; mountains have appeared on the horizons of cities that citizens had forgotten were there. Many of us have rediscovered muscle memory, cycling and running again for the first time in years. We’re wondering what that flower is called, that bird, that tree.
The paradox of this emergence is that for many, it will mark a going-in rather than a coming-out. Back to the desk. Back underground. Perhaps we can take some of the light we have seen in lockdown with us and think about different ways of being.
7 ways to reduce your emergence anxiety
1. Bring the good things with you
In the past two months, many of us have developed deeper connections with the people and pastimes that bring us joy. These things are not luxuries we should give up as we change the rhythm of our days. Whether it’s yoga or sketching, free-weights or cycling, feeding the birds or playing with the children; these things are essential.
2. Know that common sense is a myth
What seems obvious to you, based on the experiences of your lifetime, may not be obvious to other people who have had different experiences. Being compassionate when others make different choices will reduce your frustration and disappointment.
3. Thank your anxiety for keeping you safe
Anxiety is supposed to appear when change is imminent. That’s ok. Notice it, name it and send it on its way by focusing on this moment, this task, breath by breath, day by day.
4. Recognise anxiety in others and be compassionate
Anxiety presents itself in many ways. We are likely to meet other people’s anxiety in the coming weeks and months in all its forms. It might snap at us, ignore our calls, seem hysterical or dull. Give people the most generous gifts you have: patience, forgiveness and compassion and be ready to meet them on their own schedule. And when you need these things, ask. You’re giving others permission to do the same, and showing the wisdom to get what you need without causing pain.
5. Connect
The virus is dangerous; people are not. Whether we like our social groups in the twos or two hundreds, we are all social beings and need to connect with other people. Smiling across the street can be enough to brighten a whole day for someone who is feeling disconnected or lonely. So smile. Talk to strangers. Call your mum. Whatever, just connect.
6. Connect, connect
This extends to all living things. Taking care of something makes us feel needed and loved. Put out some seed, plant some seeds; it really doesn’t matter if it’s a pet, pigeon or pelargonium. Tend to something and feel connected.
7. Practice gratitude
Those of you who have read my articles before will be familiar with this one. I repeat it here and will keep repeating it, as I repeat the practice of naming three things I am grateful for every day. On some days, you’ll think, I have nothing to be grateful for today. And then you’ll reflect and realise you could go on forever. It is hard to see the light sometimes but we are emerging and it is spring. That’s two things already.
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